10 phrases you are to stop saying right now
Every now and again, common language pushes me over the edge and I must vent. This is one of those times.
What follows are 10 common expressions that need to end. They are useless, and can mark you as stupid when you use them:
- “It’s all good.” Besides being idiotic, (war, disease, assault - these things aren’t good, so certainly it can’t all be good,) this hasn’t been current slang for 10 years, hipster. Go Google some new young people speech.
- “Let’s party!” In fact, stop using “party” as a verb altogether.
- “You know.” People only say this when they want to say something, but have nothing to say.
- “One thing led to another…” This is true of all things. Everything leads to something else. It’s called entropy.
- “Verbage.” This is a non-word. People use it when they want to say, “ad copy.” So say ad copy instead. It’s only one syllable longer, I swear.
- “I’m just telling it like it is.” No, you’re being rude, and now that you’ve realized it you want to justify it. You’re being a bitch when you say this - and I’m not telling it like it is, I’m insulting you. Learn the difference.
- “110%” Or 1000%, or any percentage above 100% used to describe a level of effort. If you do “110%”, you aren’t doing more - you’re just changing the curve. Everything you do is still 100%, there’s just more someone else is going to have to do to hit 100% as well.
- “Give it your all.” This is like the one above. Just be honest and say, “work harder, you lazy bastard.” That’s what you want to say - you know it is.
- Anything “on steroids.” How can you have, “an ad campaign on steroids?” Ad campaigns don’t have muscles, digestive systems, or even mouths. There is no way for a concept or an inanimate object to take steroids. In fact, why steroids? Why not PCP or crank? Are you trying to say, “An ad campaign with rage issues and a shrunken penis?” How about, “an ad campaign with liver damage?” Just stop it.
- Referring to anyone as, “bro,” “guy,” “man,” or “buddy.” What ever happened to just using names?
And here’s 10 things you should start saying if you aren’t already:
- “Please.”
- “Thank you.”
- “You’re welcome.”
- “May I?”
- “Congratulations!”
- “Good job!”
- “I’m sorry.”
- “Excuse me.”
- “Good morning/afternoon/evening”
- “Goodbye.”
